oh god my grandma...

I seriously am not feeling good guys
1st off I tested for my doubonim (1 rank below black) belt last Saturday, and I passed
even though it was extremely strenuous
and because I'm a doubonim now, I'm required to go to at least 3 classes a week
I didn't go yesterday, so I planned to do 2 classes today (4:30-5:30 and 5:30-6:30)
but my grandma just kinda ruined my plans
for one thing she's trying to change my appearance (wanting m to shav and take a shower before I go)
ine thing is that I already be stinking once I'm done, it's not like a shower now will make a difference
the other thing is that kuk sool won (the martial art I take) is what I consider to be a judgment free place
it's not like me going there with a slight beard or stinking is gonna matter!
I know my instructor helps everyone out, and really doesn't judge you by your appearance
he judges you by your character
I know if I went there with my head shaved, or some drastic change to my appearance like that, he would just ask what's up and just go on with his business
unless your personality changed would he start to care
so I understand if my grandma wants me to get cleaned up for going out to dinner or an occasion like that
but going somewhere where I'm already gonna end up the way I am now even if I shower and do all the stuff she wanted me to is kinda mean
she left and said she was never coming back (for like the 5th or 6th time) and I said that was the 5th or 6th time she said that and that she never keeps that promise (for about the 4th or 5th time)
so she kinda ruined my mood as soon as she stepped into my door
and if you guys think I was a bit hard on her, I seriously wasn't
all I told her is that it wouldn't matter any of the cleaning I did beforehand, cause I would be the same now as I would be afterwards
she's a kind of person who's "stuck in her ways" so I can't change her
she raged when I told her no and got my mom up (who was in a deep sleep) so my mom could agree with her, which my mom didn't
so she left and now my mom is going to hurt herself by driving me there
I hope my grandma has that on her conscience, but probably not

anyway, that was me just plain raging
, , and