Being pulled in all different directions

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That is basically what I've been up to the past 1-2 months I haven't been on here. Cause let's face it, I'm in freakin' high school. I should be figuring out what to do with my life. And I don't just mean jobs and colleges and stuff like that. I mean, all that is unavoidable if I basically want to live! So what am I gonna do the rest of my time I'm not working or studying? I have no f'n clue. Well I have some ideas but not sure how to decide.
For one I have Kuk Sool Won, the Korean martial art I've been taking since I was in 4th grade. It has been 6-7 years since I started it and I don't know what I got out of it. Sure I met great people and friends. As well as learned a lot about myself by going there. But I am not sure it's worth it anymore. Cause I only started to lose weight. And being still at 250+ lbs, I don't think that plan worked out. So I don't see the point in it.
And then there's my hobbies. Like playing video games and trading cards. The only reason I got into those is cause I love strategy. Keeps my mind thinking and on edge so that I'm ready for anything. Bleh, i don't think that fits what I mean. It's just a thrill, ya know? God, I don't know how to describe it. It just gets me going, being able to outwit my opponent, stay on my toes, and just react to the situation. (more talking trading cards for that one). And video games, especially rpgs and mmos, I just like being able to create stuff and do stuff I can't do in real life. Like when in my life am I gonna hug an eevee? Or even just use magic. Now I don't wanna live in a fantasy world. I just want to do things I can't really do and enjoy myself.
And then there's writing/drawing, or just being creative in general. I started doing these things to deal with being bullied in 7th grade. Listening to music and hearing in it pain I myself have felt just got to me. So I felt, if those singers can write these things and express their feelings for the world to see, why can't I? So I just started writing about everything. Even going so far to write a song about nothing but random sh** that I saw during that day. I feel I should keep doing this. Any problems in life, I should just write about them and hopefully that'll help me with them. Just Like I'm doing now.And drawing was basically the same way, just a way to cope with life's problems. Not in such a direct way as writing about them, but just taking the crazy things that seemed to always pop up in my head and putting them into this world. So that I didn't think I was crazy for thinking about that stuff cause I just drew it and it now existed somewhere. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's just how I see it. My mind is just full of insanity and making it real by drawing it just made me think I wasn't that crazy. (hopefully that made much more sense)

Hopefully someone will be willing to help me through this.
I have some art projects from last semester digital art I'll be uploading here, hope you all enjoy them
and as always:
PEACE by cetrobo

Harmony by shadrad










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TheseKrimzonFlames's avatar
My friend, step back, and just breathe. You're allowing so many things to swarm you at once. Just take them on, one at a time. And, again, breathe. :manhug: