I swear, my stress level increases every single day
There's like a ticking time bomb inside my head that blows up and makes me break down
I cry, huddle up with my teddy bear, and repeat "I don't want to hurt anyone"
Why I do this, is beyond me
All I know is that in moments of extreme stress, I emotionally break down
Maybe it's guilt, for everything I've ever done?
Maybe it's remorse for never doing things?
Maybe it's loneliness cause no one else around me seems to care
That's not entirely true, my friends care (in a friend sort of way)
But I choose not to intertwine my home/personal lives
I feel that'll make things too awkward and make everyone look down on me as if I need to be coddled
And so, if I don't want to mix personal with home, then why am I telling you all this?
Cause on the internet, I can say what I feel, do what I please, and not hurt a soul
It makes me feel safe that there is something/someone I can turn to when everything else has run its course
Which, too be honest, happens more often than not when it comes to my family
So, I enjoy being online, as an escape from the hectic antics of my real life
I am able to explore places I've never seen, learn new things, and evolve
Yet, I can't live in a fake reality
So, after experiencing so many joyous emotions, I must return to the pits of Hell
Of course, I love my family. And I care for them with all my heart and soul
But, I'm sure everyone has felt this, they can get on my nerve and drive me up a wall
But at the end of the day, there's my mama hugging me
So then, why do I feel all this regret/remorse?
Which causes me to go into fits where I just want to isolate my self from the world.
In the moment, I feel as if it's the only logical response
*Sigh* Why does my life seem like a broken record?
All I know is: "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark"
And as of right now, I think I'm the only one who cares enough to do anything about it
Listening to: P!nk - Nobody Knows
Playing: Super Smash Bros for the Nintendo 3DS